Well, dear readers, I’ve managed to make it two whole months without writing about Mr. Fitz, but I just can’t stand it anymore. So many things have happened with our little guy over the summer, all of which are nearly beyond adorable. Besides, you want an update, right? It isn’t annoying, right?

Right?

First off, the basics. Fitzgerald, our Boston terrier puppy, is now eight months old. He weighs in at an impressive 20.4 pounds. He has all of his adult teeth, and he’s almost completely potty trained. He doesn’t bark at dogs or neighbors walking by. And he survived the Big Snip thanks to brilliant vet Dr. Andrée Berthiaume.

But there have been other developments as well. First off, Fitz is a player. He has not one, but two girlfriends now. Love Bunny is a buxom, callipygian brunette with flirty eyelashes. Fifi is a pink poodle with a French accent. With unabashed zeal, Fitz goes back and forth between the two of them, not even bothering to hide one from the other. He doesn’t take them on dates. He doesn’t spend the night. He just basically tosses them around and leaves them on the floor when he’s done with them. He’s like the Tony Soprano of boyfriends. Don Draper after several Canadian Clubs.

He’s also a high roller. We discovered this after family game night last night. Fitz jumped up on William’s lap, put his chin on the table and watched (studied?) us playing Yahtzee for about 20 minutes, which I would imagine is about three hours in dog time. Round after round, he watched the dice fall where they may, only trying to eat them when they came exceptionally close to his mouth.

Eating continues to be a priority for Fitz, which is very welcome in this foodie family. Like a boss, he continues to eat his twice-daily meals in under 2 minutes, regularly choking on his Iams. But he’s added two new favorite foods to his list: carrots and ice cubes.

Of course, watching him eat these rather ungainly snacks is a feast for your eyes. No chewing with your mouth closed in Fitzi’s world, that’s for sure. Chomp, chomp, chomp and crunch, crunch, crunch is the soundtrack, shards of ice or chunks of carrot flying everywhere. Happily, he chooses to eat both snacks under the dining room table, where he proceeds to bubble and drool on the wool rug. That Fitzgerald sure has some luxe taste for his snacking location, wouldn’t you agree, Liza Ryser Joyner?

Much to the chagrin of my husband but with the wholehearted support of my stepdaughter, I have taught Fitz Shake-a-Paw. It was a controversial subject for a while, with William feeling that Fitz offering up his paw in greeting to guests was degrading. I just thought it was cute. It was actually my mom who tipped the scale on that one when she suggested that guests would find it much more endearing to shake his paw than to be bitten, humped or jumped up on, three things Fitz is also very capable of doing.

Thanks, mom.

Bow ties have also been part of the conversation in Fitz’s world. Gabrielle and I are, of course, pro-bow tie (and, let me just put it out there right now: pro-Halloween costume), while William was not. She and I solved this dispute on William’s birthday when we purchased a bow tie for Fitz in the identical pattern as one of William’s button-up shirts, which I casually suggested he wear for the dinner we were hosting that night. As soon as Fitz strutted out in his tie and William saw how dapper they both looked together, he was a goner.

And that’s the last thing I’ll say about our beautiful baby puppy. My husband is no softy, “polite, but not nice” as he often describes himself. When it comes to Fitz-Bitz, though, William is all puddle, asking for kisses, cradling him on the couch, and engaging in baby talk.

In that way and in so many others, Fitz, the greatest little monster, has transformed our family. So, if you’re even kind of on the fence, even marginally considering adopting a little puppy, have been meaning to visit the animal shelter but just haven’t been able to pull the trigger, here is the sign you needed to push you over the edge. A dog absolutely completes a family.

Take it from me and Fitz.